THE SECOND EPISTLE TO MARK AND DI

Dear Di and Mark,

I gather from your e-mail that so far I do not seem to have convinced you that small church life (as you have found it) will ever meet up to the standards you feel you met in large church life and which you think should be part of every church. Let me try a second plea in defence of the way things are.

(An aside here: don’t assume that the fact that I accept the way things are is complacency. I long to see God build St Columba’s into a much better representative of how the church on earth is meant to be. However, God is working with clay like me and there will always be, in every aspect of the Christian life, a tension between what is now and what is still to be.)

Your second complaint is that there is nothing for your teenage son. You are right if you mean we have no Youth Group or whatever. Before responding directly to your charge I’d like us to think about youth work.

It is an understanding widely held in Christian circles that Youth Fellowships are self-evidently A Good Thing. To be honest, I think the case is far from made. We have no evidence of the NT church having such things and quite a few tantalising hints that the early church was such that all ages and social backgrounds mixed together in the local congregation. We need to ask, therefore, if such organisations really have a firm scriptural foundation or whether they are just things we are permitted to do - but do not have to. We also need to ask if the huge effort demanded of youth leaders is worth the fruit they show. Make no mistake: someone has to give time, effort, energy, money and enthusiasm, in vast amounts, to run a Youth Group. To what end?

Having asked the questions I now turn to your complaint. You are presumably clear in your own mind that Youth Groups are biblical and that a Youth Group will achieve that which could not otherwise be achieved by the church. Why do we not have one?

Our reasons, I have to say, are not due to high theological motivation or even an idle opinion that such groups are pointless. They are far more practical. There just are not enough “youth” in a small church like ours to have a group of them. Let’s put this into context. Our town’s High School has a little under 1100 pupils aged 11-18. The Christian Union group has a regular attendance of 12-15 of whom your Jason is not one. (Yes – I have checked with the CU Leader). I know it is over-simplifying what may be a complex set of reasons (conflicting interests, peer pressure, a busy schedule) but Jason does not seem to want to be part of a group of people of a similar age who gather in Christ’s name.

Now try to see that there is a general problem with dedicated youth work, in a small community, in a post-Christian world. There are 12 churches in this town – in other words, an approximate average of one young person at the High School Christian Union from each church. I would be delighted if we could offer some sort of ministry to young people like Jason – but how do we set about it? We do not have appropriately gifted leaders and we do not have the youngsters for them to lead. This does not mean that we do not care or are not willing to make the effort. We have considered the matter and we have decided to try a different strategy. We offer something which you have declined. We have a system of mentoring teenagers so that each is assigned a mature Christian who will guide, counsel and befriend them. If you had looked around after morning service you would see Tracy with Mrs Duguid and Ian J with Alan Henderson in corners of the church huddled in discussion. They were working through a short discussion paper based on the sermon. All 4 – the two adults and the two teenagers – say it is helpful and challenging to have to relate what they had heard in the service to their everyday life. More than that, trans-generational friendships have developed and hobbies and interests shared. Ian helps Alan with his digital camera; Tracy is learning calligraphy with Mrs Duguid. You, however, expressed the view that Jason was not mature enough for this – despite the fact that you allow him to go with his friends to see Certificate 15 films.

I understand well that we parents have a constant battle to see our children formed by the Word rather than by the world. I believe the biblical pattern for Christian child-rearing is first the family and secondly the church as the forming grounds. A Youth Group is a poor third. I would also argue that the small church can offer opportunities (such as our mentoring programme) which the large fellowship cannot. We can, however, only offer them and if you decline and say you want something we cannot produce we have ended up with a stalemate.

I know that in this town you will not find a church with a Youth Fellowship that can provide what you, and maybe Jason, want. So what will you do? Travel 50 miles to the nearest large gathering? Are you up to doing that on all the occasions when Jason will want to go bowling, or for a pizza, or to a gig with the Youth Group you hope he will find? How well will you know the individuals who will be leading this distant Youth Group? How able will you be to keep an eye on the agenda they have? What will they be teaching Jason? How aptly will he be being equipped for the world he will have to live in? The distant gathered church with its large congregation and multiplicity of programmes will make demands on you which are going to be costly. By opting out of the local church you are committing yourself to paying this price. I hope it will be worth it.

Neil